Starscream's Sticky Adventure
by LonelyValentine
Summary: Starscream's life could fall apart after Megatron assaults him, but Optimus Prime is there to pick up the pieces in a very gentle and tender way. Oh, and the Decepticons conquer Earth. A rather cracky parody of bad TF fanfics and the first two seasons of G1. You'll LOL. You might even ROTFLOL.


**Starscream's Sticky Adventure**

 **-x-x-x-**

Megatron was ready to unveil his latest plot. He'd gathered his loyal Decepticons, and Starscream, into the war room aboard the Nemesis. "Decepticons," he addressed them. "I have an evil new plan that will conquer this puny planet once and for all, and send the Autobots spiraling into miserable defeat." Megatron gave a convincing evil laugh. "The Constructicons have built an insidious device that will drain energy from the Earth's molten core. Finally, unlimited energy shall be ours!" He laughed again, because even though Megatron was a bad guy he still had a healthy sense of humor.

Astrotrain raised his hand. "Uh, Megatron. Two things. One, the core of this planet is solid. It's the mantle that's molten. And two, we've already tried that this month."

Megatron clenched his teeth, or whatever passed for teeth in his mouth. "All right then. In that case, I shall have the Constructicons convert it into a device that will drain the power of the sun, producing unlimited energon for us to conquer everything in sight."

"We did that two weeks ago," said Rumble.

"Oh, yes right. Slipped my mind. Well, then I shall have the Constructicons build some new soldiers who are finally able to defeat the Autobots once and for all," he growled, and then laughed evilly again.

"We did that just last week. Humongotron. Remember?" Hook reminded him. "And Humongotron's still in the repair bay from when Bumblebee jumped on his back and shoved a banana up his tailpipe."

Megatron scowled. This was getting difficult.

Meanwhile Starscream had gotten out of his seat and was stretching himself upon the edge of the table looking all desirable and lovely. He knew that he was sexy and that everyone at the table wanted him. In fact Scrapper sitting in the chair next to him was getting a roboner from just glancing at him. He'd taken the Constructicon leader to his berth on occasion. Scrapper performed well enough to please, and his spike wasn't too large. Starscream avoided mechs with overly large spikes—they'd just damage his tight and overly sensitive valve. His favorite lovers were in fact the Reflector trine, mostly because they were modestly hung but super-kinky, at least according to any fanfics he'd read containing them. They were twincest +1, and usually into voyeurism, being a camera and all. Plus, since they weren't particularly popular with the writers, he didn't have to worry about some jealous lover of theirs suddenly showing up and jealously beating the cybernetic stuffing out of him. In fact he couldn't remember them doing anything more than doing a little spying for Megatron or porting energon cubes around. Oh, and sometimes they stood in the background.

"Well in that case, we'll steal some bit of Earth technology that astounds even us technologically advanced robots, and turn it against the humans and the Autobots." Megatron continued. "I'm sure we can probably use it to produce unlimited energy as well."

He looked to Soundwave, his smartest and most devoted lieutenant, and the faceless yet strangely sexy mech shook his head. The others were also shaking their heads.

"Well fine! Fuck it! Let's just go raid a power plant!"

There were cheers and everyone rushed out.

 **-x-x-x-**

Meanwhile in Autobot HQ, Spike was teaching the Autobots how to play croquet. Suddenly an alarm went off. "There's only one reason that particular alarm sounds," said Optimus in a sagely manner. "It means that the Decepticons are raiding the Grand Plateau Power Plant in Asia."

The Autobots all gasped, and Perceptor suddenly had some grasp of why Optimus had him program several thousand different alarms into Teletraan's systems.

"Autobots! Roll out!" Optimus commanded as he transformed. "We must stop Megatron in Asia at all costs."

"Uh, Prime? Not to complain or anything, but we're going to 'drive' to Asia?" Ratchet asked.

"Of course. We're Autobots. We drive everywhere."

"To some vague location in Asia? From some vague location in the Pacific Northwest or possibly the American Southwest?"

"Of course!"

"Of course."

 **-x-x-x-**

Two hours later, the Autobots arrived at the Grand Plateau Power Plant and a big fight began. There was lots of weapons fire and stuff getting blown up, and a bunch of car chasing. It was really exciting. Optimus was like "Rawr! And he jumped on Megatron, who was like "You cannot defeat me, Optimus!" And then Bluestreak was like "Pew! Pew-pew!" with his gun and Motormaster was all "Grawr!"and stuff. It was way cool. But eventually Megatron called a retreat, and the Decepticons all flew away.

Once back at the Nemesis, Megatron was in a really pissy mood because his plans had once again been thwarted by the Autobots. Starscream was prancing about, wiggling his shapely aft, and basically looking really hot as he berated Megatron's failure. "I told you it would never work!" he sneered.

"No, you didn't," Megatron retorted.

"I'm sure I did. I always tell you it will never work, and then I try to assume command of the Decepticons."

"No, I'm pretty sure you didn't. You usually do, but not this time."

"Of course I did. I always do."

Soundwave scrolled back up a few paragraphs to check the first scene of the story. "Megatron correct. Starscream failed to complain and mutiny."

"See," said Megatron. "You forgot your usual acts of insubordination this time."

"I blame the author's lack of a beta-reader. Having a beta-reader would catch these mistakes!" he snapped. "Well I'm insubordinating now!" He leveled his null ray at Megatron and fired, but the weapon only made some interesting looking crackles of electricity over the Decepticon leader's plating.

"How dare you!" Megatron growled. "Insubordination will not be tolerated! Again!" He grabbed Starscream by the wing and hauled him off to his quarters.

"No! Megatron! You can't do this!" Starscream screeched in terror.

"And what's to stop me? Besides another error on the part of the author."

Megatron entered his quarters, tossed Starscream onto the berth, and enjoyed another evil laugh. "Now you shall pay for your insolence." He opened the panel covering his interface array and his spike suddenly popped out with a 'sproing' sort of a noise.

Starscream whimpered. The spike was huge. Like really huge. They could have attached it to Devastator and it would have looked normal on him. It wasn't big enough to look normal on Trypticon, and it really would be ridiculous for Trypticon to have a spike. I mean, what would he be doing with that monstrous thing? Trying to sex up the Statue of Liberty? But anyway, Megatron's spike was really huge, sorta like some robotic Ron Jeremy or something, and it was dripping transfluid already.

"No, Megatron, you can't do this!"

"Shut your insolent mouth, Starscream!" And then he climbed onto the berth, tore open the cover protecting Starscream's valve, and plunged his painful hugeness into it.

Predictably, Starscream screamed. "Megatron! You're hurting me!" he cried. He could feel the massive spike tearing the mesh of his valve or bending his calipers out of shape or burning out the sensor nodes inside of him or something like that because Starscream couldn't handle it.

"Silence, you traitorous worm, and take it like the whiny bitch you are!" He grabbed Starscream around the neck and forced him harder into the berth.

"At least I know now that the size of your fusion cannon isn't compensating for anything," the Air Commander whimpered.

"Ngggh! You're so tight, Starscream. But you won't be once I'm done with you." And with that Megatron overloaded, spurting gallons of hot transfluid into Starscream's valve.

Starscream just cried and went limp on the berth.

The door of Megatron's quarters suddenly opened and most of the Decepticons rushed into the room.

"There is a doorbell, you know," Megatron growled. He picked up Starscream, impaled him again with his elephantine spike, and began to thrust away once more.

"Oh, you're busy," said Blitzwing. "Shall we come back later?"

"No. Now that you're here you can watch me humiliate Starscream."

The Decepticons all stood around watching Megatron humiliate Starscream. They even applauded when he overloaded again, causing Starscream to start sobbing as the transfluid gushed back out of him and soaked the berth. Someone passed around a bag of rust sticks to snack on, and Skywarp got out a cube of high-grade to share with Thundercracker.

"Don't just stand there.." Starscream moaned to his trinemates on seeing them there. "Help me..."

Skywarp walked up to his trine leader and helped by giving him a drink of high-grade, which was rather difficult as Megatron was now clanging him Dinobot-style from behind. Megatron gripped Starscream so hard that his wings crumpled beneath his fingers, and he pounded against the seeker's aft so hard that sparks were flying out. Megatron roared as he came for the third time, this time pulling out as he did and spraying transfluid or some other cum-like substance all over Starscream. The watching Decepticons applauded. And then he tossed Starscream to the floor, retracted his enormous spike, and then stood before his soldiers. "Was that humiliating enough?"

The Decepticon army nodded. "We completely condone your actions because we're the bad guys, and this proves it."

Megatron grinned wickedly. "Excellent. Now what brings you here?"

Swindle stepped forward as Megatron wiped himself down. "Lord Megatron, we have come up with another way to conquer this puny and worthless planet.

"You know, if this planet is so puny and worthless, why do we want to conquer it? Why do we even stay here?" Rumble wondered aloud.

"Question irrelevant," droned Soundwave.

"Show me what you've got," said Megatron.

Starscream—bleeding, beaten, humiliated, and in what was certainly the worst pain of his life—crawled to the side of the room. "Medic..." he wailed weakly as he collapsed into a pool of fluids analogous to tears, blood, and semen.

A deep red Decepticon came over, got out a medic's field kit, and began to patch him up.

Megatron looked up from studying the blueprints that Hook was holding up and narrowed his eyes at the scene off to the side. "Who are you?" he demanded of the unknown medic.

The sexy, slender mech stood and struck a pose. "I'm Knock Out. I'm not actually part of your universe, but my popularity seems to have bled over into your continuity."

"Oh. Very well. Carry on then," responded Megatron and he went back to the plans the others had presented him with.

"First the United States, then Europe, then the whole planet, and from there... the galaxy!" Scrapper promised.

"Excellent! The Autobots won't stand a chance since we've never tried this before. They won't have any idea how to fight back. We'll get to work right away." Megatron laughed evilly yet again, because he never grew tired of it.

 **-x-x-x-**

The Decepticons busied themselves with their plans right away, and the Autobots soon learned their enemies were up to something, though they didn't know what.

"We have new intelligence from our spies that the Decepticons have a new plan to conquer this planet, and then the universe."

"We should warn the female Autobots!" said Powerglide.

"You're right," answered Optimus. He quickly had Blaster connect them with Elita-One's base on Cybertron.

As the video feed kicked in, they found Elita-One at the console. Well, actually it was Alpha Trion bending Elita-One over the console and fragging her from behind as she tried to take the call.

"Oh! Optimus Prime! Oh!" she gasped. "I was expecting Chromi...mmmmph!"

"Well ah, no. We just wanted to warn you that Megatron seems to have a sinister and original plot. Is this a bad time?"

"No, no. Mmmmph! Hang on." She waved Alpha Trion away, and he withdrew his long, very erect, very impressive spike and walked off, where he immediately grabbed Firestar as she walked past, lifted her up onto a table, and began pounding into her with just as much gusto as he had just been pounding the Prime's consort.

"So, uh, what's with Alpha Trion?"

Elita-One was wiping the coolant off of her brow. "Oh that. Moonracer found a rare deposit of viagracite while out on patrol. Let's just say we've been having a good week around here," she smiled.

"Sure looks like it," grinned Blaster, giving her a thumbs up sign.

"So, a sinister and original plot. We'll be on our toes around here."

"As well as our backs," added Moonracer, leaning into the camera.

Optimus sighed when the transmission ended.

Kup and Ironhide stepped up. "Optimus, we'd like permission to go to Cybertron to help, ah, um..." Ironhide's words faltered.

"To help defend the women," continued Kup.

"Yeah. Gotta take care of the girls, right? Protect them from the Decepticreeps. Yeah."

"We'll take really good care of them."

Optimus straightened. "Good idea. We don't know where the Decepticons will strike next. Permission granted."

"I should go with them. I think they'll need my forcefield," added Trailbreaker.

"All right you three. Just be careful. We don't know what the Decepticons have in store this time."

With a happy whoop the three Autobots headed off, and as they did, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker came in, dragging the limp form of Starscream with them. "Look what we caught!" they gloated.

"Starscream! I say we torture him for information," said Prowl.

"Good thinking, Prowl," complimented Optimus.

Starscream whimpered. "I'll tell you anything you want. Everything I know. Just don't send me back to the Decepticons."

"No?"

"I can't go back there. Megatron will kill me." Starscream explained about his repeated treachery, whereupon the Autobots all understood and felt sorry for him.

"Well, we all understand and feel sorry for you," said Jazz. "Perhaps you could join us. You know, change sides. What do you think, Optimus?"

Optimus rubbed his chin. "Well, first we'll have to see if you're worthy of being an Autobot. And by worthy, I mean, are you good in the berth?

"I'm very good in the berth," Starscream said hopefully.

"Well, I'll be the judge of that. Come with me."

 **-x-x-x-**

Optimus Prime very gently and tenderly lay Starscream upon his huge bed. "Starscream, I've been dreaming of this for a long time."

"Really?"

"Ever since I started seeing your tight little seeker aft out there on the battlefields."

"I'm afraid it's not as tight as it once was. Megatron... Megatron, he..." Starscream broke down into sparkwrenching sobs.

Optimus gently and tenderly put his hands on the shoulders of the trembling seeker. "It's all right, Starscream. You don't have to talk about it. I think I know what happened."

Starscream looked up at the Autobot commander with limpid optics. "He violated me... forced me to..." He broke down into sobbing again.

"There, there..." said Optimus softly, putting his arms gently and tenderly around Starscream, pulling him into a gentle and tender embrace. "Nothing like that will ever happen again."

"You mean it? You'll protect me."

"I will protect you as I'd protect any of my Autobots." With that he pulled back his mask, revealing his face to the seeker for the first time ever.

"Oh! Optimus! You're handsome. I never knew."

Optimus only smiled, and then leaned in to press a kiss to Starscream's lip components, a kiss of such gentleness and tenderness that Starscream felt as if he had been kissed by an angel. And then he lay the seeker back upon the pillows of the berth and pushed the long legs apart. His hand sought out the seeker's interface panel and slid it open.

"Please, Optimus. Be gentle with me. Megatron did so much damage."

"I'll be ever so gentle, and tender too."

Starscream smiled and tried to relax, even as Optimus popped open his own interface panel, revealing his delightful spike.

It wasn't huge...simply proportionate. And it was beautifully smooth too, unlike the knobby monstrosity Megatron had forced into him so recently and torn his valve from end to end. If it had not been for the appearance of the mysterious medic, he probably would have bled to death right there, and Hasbro wouldn't have been able to sell any more Starscream action figures. However, this odd little plot twist brought about the packaging and marketing of the "Starscream's Sticky Adventure Playset," which had both a Starscream doll and a Knock Out doll, a medical kit, and a berth for them to play on. There were even these reusable "frag damage" stickers that you could put on Starscream to make it look like Knock Out had some work to do. The Japanese release included a vial of "transfluid" for realism. The set was pretty much aimed at 18-28 year old fangirls, who snapped them whenever they could find them. It wasn't long before the sets were only available from resellers on eBay and commanding upwards of $100 for a MIB one. But I digress.

"Oh, Optimus. Make me yours. Make me an Autobot," Starscream begged.

"If you really wish me too," said the prime.

"Please," he moaned.

With the most gentle and tenderest of touches, Optimus knelt over Starscream and proceeded to make love to him, kissing him and stroking him, and eventually bringing him to several spectacular overloads. Starscream never thought he could have ever known such intimate bliss.

Optimus held back his own orgasm until at last the seeker was sated. At which point he gave a few more determined thrusts into his lover and overloaded, a proportionate amount of transfluid spilling out into the clenching valve. And then he lay beside Starscream on the berth, stroking Starscream's beautiful if abused frame. "You'll be mine always, Starscream," he whispered as they fell into recharge, arms wrapped around each other in a gentle and tender embrace.

 **-x-x-x-**

When Optimus Prime emerged from his quarters, leading Starscream by the hand, the Autobots all cheered.

Optimus gestured for silence. "Autobots, Starcream has proven himself a worthy member of our team."

Sideswipe rubbed his hands together. "All right! Time for some sticky jet judo!"

Jazz was grinning especially hard. "All right! Time for some spectacularly kinky bondage atop Prowl's desk!"

Skyfire smiled and sighed. "All right! Time for us to let bygones be bygones and pick up where we left off millions of years ago! I think he was riding me reverse cowgirl."

The Aerialbots were already drawing straws for who got to frag the seeker first in one of their semi-monthly gestalt orgies.

SG!Megatron began composing an erotic love poem which he'd send to the converted Air Commander when complete.

Starscream beamed brightly. Never again would he have to worry about Megatron's abuse or idiotic plans. From now on he belonged to Optimus Prime—his faithful, loving companion. The Autobots would look after him and protect him. He had finally found the place he belonged.

 **-x-x-x-**

Rumble smirked arrogantly. These foolish pathetic humans. They were helpless. The woman opposite him was opening her wallet, counting out bills onto the counter.

The Decepticons had conquered this planet. They had an installation on every square mile of every major city in the world, if not on every block. Smaller cities had been brought into the fold as well. And already they were spreading their evil influence into the galaxy

"One grande mocha butterscotch latte, extra whipped cream, no sprinkles, and a pumpkin spice cookie," said Rumble to the quivering woman. "That will be $7.72 please."

Rumble watched as the helpless creature counted out a handful of change before taking the cup and cookie he proffered and taking a desperate sip from it. Gathering the money, he took a brief look at the Decepticon logo upon the wall—now the most recognizable symbol on the planet. Swindle had changed it as their plan had gone into action.. No more cold, scowling robotic mask, but a welcoming smile that masked treachery, deceit, and greed. He didn't quite understand the use of the ridiculous amphibian female creature, or why Swindle had chosen deep green over purple. But it didn't matter. Cybertronians and humans alike all knew it stood for control and conquest, and a middling to good cup of coffee.

 **-x-x-x-**

 **The End**

 **-x-x-x-**

I don't own the characters; Hasbro does. I've only exploited them for entertainment purposes.

Thank you to my fellow fans and writers, whose ideas have created the fanon, the cliches, the jokes, the language, and the love.

 **-x-x-x-**

Inspired by this prompt on Tfanonkink:

Req G1/IDW Megatron/Starscream. Noncon, redicule, trollfic, possible mpreg

I would like to read an exaggerated parody of Megatron/Starscream noncon.  
Make it as extreme as possible with Megatron being an ever frustrated/angry rapist forcing himself on Starscream as a punishment for something totally reidiculous ( e.g: Starscream, the energon you served me is one degree too cold, you failed me for the last time Im so gonna rape you in front of the whole army!)

I want it be be as ridiculously exaggerated as possible. ( make it look like the worst trollfic ever)

Ideas: huge spike, tight spike. Starscream screaming so loudly he deafen everybody, idiotic insults, excessive amount of fluids, Mpreg with technically impossible distention and unrealistic amount of sparklings...

Bonus: Mpreg Starscream running to the Autobots for protection...and some more parody of goody-two-shoes autobots.


End file.
